Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
