You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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