Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
