Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
