saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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