I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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