No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
