i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
