The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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