I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize