An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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