I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
