Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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