I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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