My friends, they love my intelligence
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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