ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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