When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
