is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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