Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
