So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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