My liver just broke up with me...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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