Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
