the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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