Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize