What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
