too bad you live with your parents still
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
