...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
