No awkward lesbian experiences without me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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