im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
