what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have tasted many bathrooms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
