She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
