you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
