Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize