You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
