Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
