it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
