just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
