Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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