Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
