dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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