I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
