I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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