hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
