i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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