You just made me feel so damn special
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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