remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize