I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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