I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
