it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
