That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His nipple licking is glorious
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