y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
