I feel great
I just peed on a car
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize