why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
