My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
