The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
