PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Less talking, more tequila
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
