I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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