YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize