I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
