Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
