he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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