My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
