I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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