the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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